That Midlife Thing

I guess this is that time in life. Back when Dad was acting pretty strange after their divorce, I remember asking Grandpa if he went through some sort of midlife crisis, he just said, "Hell, I never had the time!"

I'm thinking it has to do with changing your mindset. When I was younger, it was always a matter of what I was going to do some day, what my potential was, what paths I would take? Now I begin to realize that some potential doors are closing, that I do not and will not possess certain traits I admire, and there is only a finite amount of time to accomplish a seemingly infinite amount of dreams and goals.

I also think that men tend to pine for what they perceive they have missed out on. I think this is why many family men buy the Corvette or run off with the secretary, looking for that adventure they didn't have living the culdesac lifestyle. I think it's why guys like me who have climbed the mountains, jumped out of the planes, ran the wild rivers, begin to miss the family that never materialized. What would it have been like to marry that sweet girl years ago, wake up next to her now, and be sending the kids off to college?

Not that there are serious regrets. I've been a lucky bastard. I've had a chance to realize many a goal, been blessed with a great extended family, a few solid friendships, and have worked at a career that has allowed me to be a positive force in many lives. I wondered what it was going to be like to get to this stage in life. In many ways it probably hasn't completely sunk in, and in many ways I'm just damned fortunate to have made it this far.